he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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