So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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