i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
