I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
