Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize