does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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