I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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