false alarm. still invincible.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
being pregnant is like rehab
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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