The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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