Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
