I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
whose ass print is on the piano?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
