Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Someone shit on the floor
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
