Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Your penis caused this!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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