I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Drake has all the answers
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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