Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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