Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
