The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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