So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
