hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
