The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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