found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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