we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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