I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
