Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
