So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
