We're facebook friends in real life
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
People in love make me want to vomit
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
