hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
