Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
