I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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