He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize