Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
