Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
