dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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