Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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