Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(785): View more from Kansas

I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.

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(618): View more from Illinois

No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.

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(727): View more from Florida

Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew

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(206): View more from Washington

she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters

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(334): View more from Alabama

I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.

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