btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
