Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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