i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
