i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
