you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
