If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You're like the curious george of whores
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I need a beard to bite.
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