Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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