I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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