If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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