it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
