Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
