Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
