This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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