I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
