Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
