wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i barfeds in our rink
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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