I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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