i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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