I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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