its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
