My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
