Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
