Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
