That's when you crack a 10am beer
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
