people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
